All goals are based on assumptions. The typical expectation is that getting better at something will improve your quality of life. More X leads to more Y which leads to more satisfaction in the way things are.
We have faith that change brings happiness.
photo credit: lifedev.net
Of course, the most important assumption is that we can be successful in making that change.
On the other side of the spectrum, there is fear that if we DON’T do something, things will get worse. Our habits and behaviors are based on the premise that our current actions are keeping negative results at bay. If we don’t keep running, we’ll get fat. If we don’t eat eight times a day, our metabolism will slow down. If we don’t stay in our current relationship, no one else will want us.
Fear-based goals are based on the belief that change will bring about unhappiness.
These tend to be even more motivating then joy-based goals because they are based on an already established routine. Fear-based mindsets tend to keep us stuck where we’re at because we can’t conceive of a ‘better than‘ scenario, just a worse. We convince ourselves that pain is normal and is a trophy of our work. How many of us are making our lives harder than they need to be because we refuse to look at the evidence that what we’re doing is hurting us?
Often times, the very act you cling to is the act that should be changed.
To change an outcome, you first have to change your beliefs. It won’t be easy, it definitely won’t be popular, but if you can consider that what you’ve been doing isn’t necessarily the best thing for you you, you can start to look for alternatives. Begin by examining what it is you can take away.
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